|Albert Belle: Hi, I guess.
I'm Albert Belle, here for Sammy Sosa's Playhouse to interview the Orioles 1st
overall draft pick, Rutschman. Congrats, Adley, how you doing?
Adley Rutschman: Thanks for having me, Albert. I'm super excited to join the Orioles organization. What's this little guy's name?
Albert: That's Jay the Gibbon. He holds this tablet for me since I'm in jail.
Adley: Oh, that's unfortunate. Sorry to hear that.
Albert: You sorry? Well, you got that $8 mill signing bonus. That'd cover my bail if you could.
Adley: Well, I don't know...
Albert: Man, you don't know? You don't fucking know? I'm Albert Belle, motherfucker! Without me you won't be making no damn millions!
Adley: I've never met you, I mean. I've never had this much money in my life and I kinda want to cover family expenses first. To be honest, I never really watched you play. A bit before my time.
Albert: Fuck you, ungrateful kid. Anyway, you're a catcher but you can hit. You open to moving to first base or outfield?
Adley: Catching is my passion and I hope Baltimore lets me stay at this position. From my conversation with scouts, the organization sounds committed to developing me as a catcher.
Albert: Good for you. That's a premium position not many dudes can hit in. You'll make plenty more money, then you can bail me out.
Adley: Seriously, Albert, I'm very sorry about you being in jail but there's nothing I can do about it. Right now I'm focusing on geting ready for A-ball.
Albert: NOTHING YOU CAN DO! Man, fuck you. Jay, turn this fucking thing off. This dude won't help me out.
Adley: Huh. I guess that's the end of the interview. Why couldn't I be a Met?